On coming back from the desert, or stepping out of that swamped boat, the story, as you remember, began something like this: "All dharmas being Buddhadharma, there is illusion and enlightenment, practice, birth, death, ordinary beings, and buddhas…" Or to restate: with every event, circumstance, thing, phenomena, all experience, the very all itself (with a sweeping gesture) expressing as the myriad things, all existence is being exactly, thoroughly and completely the Buddha way…then…then…then what do we have? Closer to home, we could say it this way: Given a person's unique dharma, one's unique truth, "my" personal story, that functional being that's now doing the asking, that primary me, with this one particular being now recognized and experienced as a way in, then it certainly will have to include all my illusions as well as the insights, include my efforts as well as failures, my whole childhood to death path, include my potential to both totally miss the whole thing, as well as to just get it, that is to be unbound, to see, to be a buddha.
Or then again, Dogen says, why not meet this without a self? Without that incessant construction, reconstruction and maintenance of own-being, that committee of you, those conceptual imputations, your hedonic valence, and so on - then all these categories go right out the window, even being a buddha.
Kobun reminds us: "You have to do something that is possible and is related to your purpose. Washing rice to make pizza is not a good idea! Just see reality, admit what is there, begin to work on what is missing, what has to be connected with, added, what should remain and what should be cut off. See clearly, when its working the instrument that you is in tune and it becomes wisdom.
Dogen also says look clearly, straight on, as if when looking at something and then see only the side facing, not its other side. This is not second-hand knowledge. Look directly, and also look locally, and see what's at hand. What's at hand, what's here, now? Well, for sure a body and mind are here, consciousness, in its position in time and place. Dogen says start there. Start very locally. Start with self, study the self, and if you investigate thoroughly, as you do you will experience the dispersion, the dissolution, the release of this so-called "self." "Body and mind drop away, and with it drops off the identities of others as well." So to love the Buddha way is to love one's self, to love one's self is to forget the self and just be love, and to just be love is to be welcomed in the love of all things. Or it could be said, that to meet the Buddha way we must authentically meet ourselves, in fully meeting ourselves, we reintroduce ourselves to ourselves as "no-self," and so when no-self, released of self, then all existence comes forward to fully meet you. You know by being known. Or more than meet you, existence may even recognize you, remember you, may say, "hey, I've been missing you, what took you so long?"
Then Dogen said "when truth has partially filled body and mind, we may feel complete, but when truth, when the dharma, thoroughly fills body and mind, we know something is missing." What is missing? If we think we have some understanding, some experiences, so-called spiritual identities, if we've looked through the slit spaces in the fence and see the other side, seen our reflection in the window, eaten and spit out the bitter fruit of doubt, remembered when under a rose apple tree content to see our father plowing, made a nice box to carry our idealism in, and perhaps completed all the bhumis, we might feel complete. Yet when truth is complete in you, you know this is not the whole story. There is no summation. Something is missing. What is missing? Dogen said it this way, "As in a boat past the view of land, then the ocean might appear to be round. But of course it is no more round than square. Unimaginable aspects may be received as 'ocean,' even seen (from a fish's view perhaps) as a palace or a necklace of jewels, but at that time the ocean, for you, is only a circle. With our study of this, as well as being round or square, "ocean" (your awareness), will manifest in infinite variety, worlds are in all directions, there is a world within us, a world even in one drop of water." So when truth is with this body and mind, we know something is missing. Is this truth missing untruth? Is insight is missing delusion, knowledge missing ignorance? Did the dharma forget something, did you forget something? Is there something unfinished? Have we brought it all along, what is already here? Everyone has been invited to the dance and the gracious host remains in place. There is still the dust in their eyes, maybe in yours as well, and still another day, maybe rain coming, still the dishes to wash, a foot ahead and a foot behind in walking, and of course, there is still, "to arrive at the beginning and know the place for the first time."
Please, honored followers of the way, continue your investigation of this great masterpiece of Dogen Zenji, the Genjokoan. There is food here, so eat well. It is bottomless - and there are fish and birds, boats, firewood and ash, fans and rivers. Its waiting for you…
- Kuzan Shoho
Michael Newhall